Once again it has been many weeks since I’ve posted a blog, and once again I’m trying to excuse myself by saying I’m too busy. But the reality is that I’m not as organised as I should be and find that I procrastinate a lot. Anyway, this particular post has been sitting around waiting to be added for some time now and I finally decided I should add it.
There comes a time in each persons life when they must, of necessity, confront those aspects of themselves and how they live within the world that are less than pleasant. Some might call this the dark night of the soul, the time at which we see ourselves as we truly are and recognise that something needs to change for without that change, life will lose it’s meaning , it’s joy, it’s integrity and even it’s ability to keep us alive. If we never face up to the demons that life brings to our attention, then we can lose the will to life itself.
This is a moment in life when have the opportunity to begin to create magic and force the process of creation itself. To transform ourselves, the relationships and interactions we have with the world must become a process of development.
Imagine a world if the truly great amongst us had never faced their demons and called into question all that they were being told was ‘true’ by the world and society around them. Imagine too, a world where the fundamental laws had never been discovered by those men and women willing to challenge all that went before and the world as they then knew it. Without such fearlessness we would still be in the dark ages indeed. And yet, it is only out of these dark dreams that real and lasting change starts.
I face a time like that now. A time when everything that has gone before is now questioned because my faith in myself, my God, my relationships has been challenged and it has found ME wanting. And yet I recongise that even in those moments of quiet despair that I am learning, growing and developing and I begin to see many glimpses of the person I may become in the future, as well as of the life I may live.
I am a gardener, I sow seeds and tend them, even if they are seeds of stinging nettles for even stinging nettles have their place in the divine order of life.
The dark night represents ‘fear’, fear of so many things. The things that bite and stings, that burn and kill us. The fear of our own inadequacies and limitations. To go beyond the dark night is to go beyond fear. To accept that fear is what may be, not necessarily what is.
To overcome fear, one needs to find a faith that allows us to recognise that we are all masters of our own destiny and the power to initiate postive and lasting change in our lives. But, we can only do this when we have faced the fear and recognised (and accepted) that we too are human and susceptible to the frailities of the human condition and that this is still ‘OK’.