There was a time 5 or so years ago when I was having such heavy and irregular periods that I’d have happily signed up for a hysterectomy. In the end it took an unplanned pregnancy and complication to bring me to this point. I have two amazing kids aged 13 and 9, so my family was complete I was content. However the decision was taken to have an ablation and coil. After issues with the coil I had it removed but my heaver irregular periods had gone just with the ablation.
Sick of putting hormones in my body I decided to be sterilised, but just before it was due I broke my ankle and really didn’t feel like more surgery so decided to stick with condoms. Skip forward 3 years and I started having irregular bleeding again so I went for a scan and discovered I was 6 weeks pregnant. Hunny and I so rarely have sex nowadays but I guess it only takes once and this is where my story begins.
I wasn’t sure another baby was right but always said I would never terminate, however after discussion with hubby we decided it was for the best and I had a medical abortion at 9 weeks. I cried and grieved all the things you would expect, but 2 weeks later morning sickness returned and a scan revealed I was now nearly 12 weeks pregnant. To cut a long story short, after a lot of discussions I decided to have a surgical abortion and at a well know termination charity in London.
After all my pre-assessment over the phone and face to face, 2 hours after I arrived to have my termination I was called to an office to say they won’t progress and turned me away at 16 weeks. The emotional trauma I’m going through at this point was beyond anything I can describe.
Fortunately my local hospital were amazing and fitted me in for another medical top that week. This also failed and I was sent to a specialist in London for a surgical abortion. After a few days of scans I was told that my pregnancy was a danger to my own life and even doing a surgical termination would be extremely risky. Due to my previous ablation my placenta was accreta in places (embedded in wall of womb instead of lining) and I had a placenta previa.
So this was where my choice came in, I could continue with my pregnancy but it would be at the risk of haemorrhage at anytime, and I may not make full term which could lead to an emergency section and/or hysterectomy. All of this is placing risk at my own life and has the potential of leaving my children without a mum. My other choice was to have a hysterectomy with the foetus still safely intact on the womb therefore ending the pregnancy and my chances of ever having anymore children. This certainly became the darkest time of my life but it seemed an obvious choice to make.
So a couple of days later I had a feticide to stop the pregnancy, and 2 days after that went to surgery knowing that the consultants weren’t sure what they would find in there. I’m pleased to say that the medical team I had were amazing, considering none of them had tackled something like this, and I have come out the other side.
Fortunately only a subtotal hysterectomy was needed so there is no need for HRT. However, I have all the symptoms of having given birth, including breast milk production, without having a baby. I have found all of this so hard some days I cry constantly and think about the little boy I may have had; and on others I know it’s all been for the best.
The support of my friends, family and my 3 consultants at the hospital have been invaluable. I send all of you support and hope none of you are here for the same reason as me.